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THE POWER IN A SMILE

By | Beauty, Psychology | 2 Comments

When was the last time you smiled at someone and what reaction did you get?  I smile back, I’ll wager.

It’s all too easy to forget about how our body language and facial expressions are affecting our image and relationships when we’re so conditioned to think mainly about our clothes and grooming. In the same way that makeup and style contribute to how we feel about ourselves and how others perceive us, our body language and facial expressions are just as important.

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A smile is the most effective tool we own when it comes to connecting with others. It’s a silent language that everyone understands and it’s an invaluable companion when making and cementing relationships.

So let’s take a minute to examine what makes a smile appear genuine.

 What is a Good Smile?

Look at the smiles in the lineup below, which ones do you think are genuine? (Answers at the base of the feature)

A genuine smile is one that is authentic and comes from the heart and envelopes the entire face. Interestingly science has proven that most people can spot a fake/insincere smile and a fake smile is rarely reacted to in a positive way.  

There are three main elements to a genuine smile:

  • raised corners of the mouth
  • slight wrinkle/crow’s feet around the eyes due to the raising of the cheeks
  • eyes that connect and radiate warmth

A fake smile only raises the corners of the mouth because we cannot voluntarily contract the muscles around our eyes. Real smiles communicate sincerity and warmth and shows other people that you are present, engaged, and involved, whether it be a social or business situation.

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How to Smile

  • A genuine smile is not confined to the face but is echoed throughout the body with open gestures and postures.  So don’t cross your arms across your chest or have your hands on your hips when smiling. 
  • Make eye contact when smiling. This is especially important when meeting someone for the first time. Eye contact plus a smile is the easiest way to make a good first impression.
  • While you’re smiling, be completely engaged in the moment. If you’re removed from the interaction, your smile will appear fake. Think positive thoughts and be engaged, this will definitely reflect in your smile. 
  • Show your teeth. A genuine smile parts the lips as the face muscles contract. A close mouth smile is one where the person smiles because they know they should rather than they want to or is given by someone who is embarrassed about their teeth. If you’re the later case you owe it to yourself to invest in your smile and have your teeth fixed.
  • Never tell a person to smile. It will only make you appear condescending. Let your smile be contagious, and let your smile encourage more smiles. Non-verbal cues are stronger motivations to reciprocating or giving out smiles. 
  • Practice makes perfect! Practicing your smile in front of your mirror may seem cheesy, but it will pay off. You will know when your smile is real cause you will feel the difference, even if it’s just you and the mirror.

When to Smile

Here are some scenarios when smiling will prove most effective:

  • When being introduced to or greeting someone – it’s a good way to be remembered.
  • When you agree with someone or something. This shows your engagement and agreement.   
  • While shaking hands, it’s both professional and memorable. When you do this in a business setting, it’s been proven that the other party will listen to you more attentively and take what you say more seriously.
  • When you’re on the phone. Yes, the person on the other line won’t be able to see your smile but it has been proven that they can hear it. The physical act of smiling has been proven to add sincerity and warmth to your voice.
  • When disagreeing, debating, or having an argument with another person, setting forth your points with a smile make the exchange less heated. A smile will communicate your openness in hearing out someones opposing views and will be seen as a sign of mutual respect.
  • When you say a person’s name. This will give you both a positive vibe about past, present, and even future encounters.
  • When you say goodbye to someone. A smile will make them look forward to getting to spend time or see you again.
  • During a job interview. In between imparting your answers, smiling is a good way to let your prospective employers know that you have a pleasant disposition.
  • When you’re feeling down. The mere act of smiling, even just to yourself, can uplift your day. Smiling to yourself in the mirror or smiling to people on the street are both instant mood booster. Who knows the smile you give may be brightening someone’s day?

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When Not to Smile

  • All the time, to everybody. Like a stare, or staying sorry too often, a constant smile on your face can make you appear in-genuine, submissive or evoke suspicion. It can also send someone the wrong message about whether or not to take you seriously. Besides, if you’re constantly smiling, you also have nowhere to go when you genuinely want to express pleasure or gratitude.
  • When it’s inappropriate for the occasion. 
  • When you want to project authority.  Some experts say that women undermine our power in the workplace by smiling too much. And indeed, in our culture, excessive smiling is the mark of a subordinate, especially if the person in front of us is not smiling at us.There’s some fascinating research that shows people in positions of power will return the smile of a subordinate, but are slower to smile at someone of equal status. Keep that in mind next time you’re in a difficult negotiation, especially if you want to be seen as an equal. 

Health and Social Benefits

There are multiple health and social benefits to smiling. Countless studies have smilesbeen done to look into these said benefits. Studies have found that smiling offers the following health benefits:

  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Releases endorphins, known as the feel-good hormone
  • Relieves stress
  • Boosts immune system
  • Boosts mood

A smile is a physical act that has real and measurable benefits to our psychology and physiology alike.

As soon as your mouth breaks into a smile, it can change your brain by releasing endorphins and serotonins. When you smile, it doesn’t just make you feel good it makes other and those around you feel good as well. Spreading smiles is a healthy thing that holds benefits for all. Smiling is indeed a free and easy form of everyday quick therapy. Smiles encompass both the body, the mind, the heart, and the soul.

So, there you have it; the social benefits of smiling are endless. The mere act of smiling already shows the world that you are ready to engage. Smiles express that you are responsive and receptive. It’s an invitation to converse, and a non-verbal cue that says you are amenable to social interaction. This positivity opens you up to more experiences and interactions, and in turn, it is proven to improve relationships with others and yourself.

Remember

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 Answer: Genuine smiles are image C and D

Ann2015Blue

If you enjoyed this week’s feature
please like it on Facebook or Instagram
or leave a comment/question below.
Thank you.
Ann Reinten AICI CIP
Author


woman beauty portrait with summer white hat and sunglasses, studio

HOW TO LOOK SOPHISTICATED

By | Beauty, How To..., Personal Style | 11 Comments

When you think of sophistication what words spring to mind? Worldly, refined, elegant, current, calm, grown-up, confident?

It’s these adjectives that help you gain insight and direction to achieve the look.

Another way is to think of women you think of as sophisticated. For me it’s celebrities like Olivia Palermo, Kate Blanchet, Anne Hathaway and Halle Berry. Each of these women look impeccable and in control even in the most casual of circumstances. The peak of the sophistication can also be seen in prominent personalities like Princess Kate Middleton, Queen Rania of Jordan, and of course, the ultimate in power dressing, Scandal’s Olivia Pope. Lastly, I can’t talk about sophistication or elegance without mentioning the one and only late Aubrey Hepburn.

Elegant Celebs

If you’re now thinking, ‘this sounds like it’s going to be expensive‘ relax I assure that it’s not necessarily so and even on a budget you can look polished. So here’s my 15 ways to look polished from your head to your toes:

Face First

With all looks, the most important place to start is at the top with your face and hair. It’s the first place people look, so your makeup, skin and hair will all need to look as pleasing, refined and finished as the rest of your look.

Like all things deemed ‘polished’ your makeup should be ‘flawless and understated’. This means blending your makeup to create a smooth, subtle finish. Don’t put on too much liner and sweep a beige or taupe eyeshadow on your lids for a subtle sheen. The next step is mascara to open up your eyes, blush for a healthy glow, and lipstick.

Use lip liner to prevent your lipstick from running throughout your day. The key to having a polished makeup look is to make sure it is set for the rest of the day. A spritz of some facial toning water will ensure your makeup won’t budge or smudge.

Elegant Makeup

Video Tutorial

Get Styled

Nothing says polished as much as a great style; perfectly cut and beautifully maintained it will beautifully compliment your makeup and finish off your outfit. Fashionable but not avant garde you hairstyle portrays femininity and control. The most refined looks are smooth to sleek while casual elegance is displayed as controlled waves. If you like parts then a side part is the one most favored by socialites.

Hair

Dress Up Your Hair

An easy and quick way to dress up and polish up your hair do of the day is by adding hair accessories. Whether it’s a topknot or a ponytail, a bejeweled hair accent will make you look more glam and will make you stand out in a chic way. If you’re wearing your hair down, a scarf headband or a sleek patent one will have the same effect.

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Stand Tall

Aside from the physical aspects of your look, from clothes to makeup, your posture and carriage carries a lot of weight when looking polished. Slouching will definitely ruin the look of a beautiful designer dress or a structured blazer. Always stand and sit up tall. Keep your shoulders square. It also helps to visualize your head attached to a thread being pulled upward.

Posture

Dress Modestly

When it comes to sophistication, err on the side of caution. The surest way to achieve real sophistication is to be modest yet chic. Look for modest necklines and hem lengths and fits that are not too revealing. When you want to wear a short mini skirt covering your legs with dark tights will instantly elevate the look. In general the more covered you are the more likely you are to be moving in the right direction. 

Modesty

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Think Structure and Tailoring

Keep an eye out for structured silhouettes; tailored separates, semi-fitted jackets and even classic structured bag shapes like satchels, doctor bags, and frame bags are all great additions to your wardrobe and great foundations to your polished look.

Nurture an eye for quality and pay more for the items you’ll wear the most. These pieces will be your investments and better quality means superior fit and fabric. If higher-end pieces are out of the equation for you, opt to get off-the-rack, fast fashion, or discount pieces altered to fit your body. A little cinching here or a little hem shortening there can work wonders in making a garment look more high quality and have a more elegant feel. Perfect fit should be your number one goal when shopping, as this lends a polished look instantly.

Structured

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Choose the Right Fabrics

Conger up the vision of an elegant woman, can you imagine her clothes, can you describe the fabrics or fabric quality? Fabrics that portray a sophisticated image are of high quality (or at least appear to be), have a fine weave, a soft pliable hand(feel), little to minimal texture and are matte to a subtle sheen. Think silk, wool, cotton, cashmere, fine velvet, and microfiber. Dressed in these any woman will feel a queen.

Sophisticated fabrics

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Layer Elegantly 

Less is more when trying to attain the polished look, think non bulky and your half way there.. If you’re wearing a dress another additional layer, like a pashmina shawl or structured jacket, is more than enough. If you’re wearing tailored separates, a maximum of 3 layered items should be your rule of thumb.

Elegant Layering

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Hue and Contrast

When trying to achieve a sophisticated look, steer clear of loud prints and neon colors which will put your look in more trendy territory. Subtle prints in a low to medium contrast are best. Neutral colors like black, white, navy, and gray are also your best bets. Beige and nude tones are a ladylike approach to the look. You can also opt for rich jewel tones, but bear in mind that it should still be rich or even muted but never bright or loud i.e. teal instead of turquoise, emerald or hunter green instead of bright acid green.

HueAndContrastSource: Image 1, Image 2, Image 3, Image 4 

Color Coordinate

Color coordinating your outfit doesn’t mean wearing one color from head to toe (although the monochromatic look is on trend), it means that to you should make sure that one element of your look visually relates to another. You’ll look more polished and sophisticated this way. For example, match the color of your lips with your belt and shoes, or you can match the red hue of your bag and shoes with red color in the print of your dress.

CoordinationSource

Accessories Count

Sophistication extends to every aspect of your look. From the mirror you use for touch-ups to your phone case, all of the things you wear and carry with you will reflect your lifestyle, disposition and act as an indication of the care you take of yourself. Everything sends a message, so if you whip out a raggedy wallet at dinner, it’ll certainly leave a bad taste in the mouth—despite having an ultra chic look.

Also a sophisticated look doesn’t necessarily need a lot of accessories. Keeping your accessories, especially your jewelry, to a minimum is a guaranteed way to look both appropriate and chic. Always opt for classic styles, in medium-small sizes.  Large and imposing jewelry might look too garish

Accesssories

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Tips and Toes

From the tips of your fingers to what you put on your feet, every little detail matters when it comes to looking sophisticated. Make sure that when heading out for the day, your fingers are well manicured. Avoid nail art, or nail colors that are loud. A classic French tip manicure or timeless colors like taupe, beige, nude, soft pink, and red are all perfect. Round, oval or round-square shapes are perfectly in-sync with your look. Avoid long pointed nails they totally send the wrong message.

Also pay attention to your legs if they are being exposed. If your legs are perfect then ‘maybe’ go bare legged; however quality hosiery always presents a polished look. Exposed feet call for a perfect pedicure and they are best teamed with flats such a loafers for ballet flats or medium to high heels. If you’re going to wear stilettos, err on the side of caution and wear them in classic hue to avoid looking too sexy (forget ankle straps; they’re too sexy). A slight sheen or some patent shine can also be a nice touch.

Tips and Toes

Act the Part

 One of the best things about leaving this point until now is that looking the part often helps you feel the part. Like when an actor when they dress in character and only then truly feels the part so you too will start to feel more sophisticated and confident when you’re in character. When you’re confident you stands tall, look people in the eyes when they are talking, smiles and nods when you’re in agreement and is not afraid to introduce themselves or others,or introduce a new topic of conversation. Sure, it may take some practice but I promise you it will be much easier when you look and feel the part. Another bonus is that other people will open up to you and give you the floor when you have ‘the look’.

Proverbs

Think Mint Condition

Nothing can ruin a polished outfit faster than a loose button or a loose thread. Before you even put on each item of clothing, give it an once-over. Check for stains, wear and tear, or any quick sewing fixes that need to be made. If found, change or fix it before leaving.

Pressing Matters

A well-pressed outfit is essential to your look. Press your outfit in advance to avoid rushing out in the morning in wrinkled clothing. Invest in a good iron or steamer, it will go a long way in taking care of your clothing and looking polished 24/7.

Want More?  The Elegant Woman website

 

Ann2015Blue

If you enjoyed this week’s feature
please like it on Facebook or Instagram
or leave a comment/question below.
Thank you.
Ann Reinten AICI CIP
Author